Alright Rocko!

Firstly I must apologise for my extended hiatus. Over the past week or so I was struck down by the mighty arm of an illness that left me unable to scribe the happenings of my life. So now I shall enthrall you with what happened to me over that ill-fated week. It consisted mainly of two things; Sleep and the Olympics. Let me say that this really isn’t the best way to spend being sick because after a while the two start to mix together. Not mix together like apple juice and bourbon (trust me it’s good) but more like oil and vinegar ie a vinegarette (chemistry and culinary students should both know that these two substances don’t mix, they just become entwined before retracting back to their separate parts). Anyway, I had a few dreams where that were Olympics based, don’t remember the details but something that involved a medal, Tienanmen Square and possibly gymnastics. Man I was tripping balls that night! While I was occupied with fighting a virus I also discovered (again) the joys of looking at pictures of cats and pictures of cats… with stuff on them. I Can Has Cheezburger and Stuff on my cat (this formula is pretty cool: Stuff + Cats = Awesome). I highly recommend you check both of them out because laughs are guaranteed.

I was also threatened by a dodgy European by the name of Kasten Koph (It’s German and a bit of an inside joke but look it up anyway) but managed to shut him down after being told numerous times to ‘be kool’.

After being away for around a week I returned to find that I had missed an incredible amount of work that I probably should be doing right now so I don’t suggest anyone do it. I have to pay homage to Brendan Fevola’s work on the football field and hope that he gets his 100 goals before Buddy Franklin does. Carn The Blues! I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night as well, it was the best movie i’d seen since Pineapple Express. Lot’s of laughs and who’d knew that a rock opera about Dracula with puppets would be such a big hit? I certainly didn’t.

And on that note I leave you for know. Who knows for how long? Maybe if you would stop being such a little bitch and tell all your friends to read this i’d write more. Alright Rocko! Oh and I have left you with one of my many favourite pictures of cats.

You Just Got Killed By A Daewoo Lanos, Motherfucker

Hasn’t the Olympics been tops so far, the Chinese might be a bit shonky when it comes to human rights but they sure put on a good show. My number one sports picks include the mens boxing that’s on at midnight (during Raymond), the diving and my personal favourite the Russian women’s basketball team. I saw them thump Latvia on Saturday night and they just rofl’d the shit through Korea. The highlight of the game being towards the end where this huge Russian chick dropped A korean one around 2 foot smaller than her.

Well didn’t I have a good weekend. I was lucky enough to have a day off on Friday due to some kind of staff professional development day (which is just code for a piss up). I took advantage of this day by catching up on some much needed sleep rising well into the afternoon. I fully rocked out to the Opening Ceremony before rocking out some more to the new Coldplay video for Viva La Vida. Managed to squeeze in a little bit of homework on Saturday before train hopping my way up to Melbourne. I had a wonderful journey on the train with many colourful characters jumping on at around the Moe station. My trip was made even better because these sik lads were perfectly impersonating Trent from Punchbowl (Youtube it). I got into Flinders at around 8 PM and had to wait around with all the emo’s for the big Chris Bordonaro to arrive. Upon his arrival we rocked it around Crown for a while before going to see Pineapple Express. This movie rocked. It was like Superbad crossed with a dope plant with a Cameo appearance from a Daiwoo Lanos. I suggest you see it. Afterwoods we went and got a kebab from a small place called Uncle Joe’s. It was pretty good but they didn’t mix the meat and salad intogether like they do at Mr. Funny Kebab.

Stayed at Ant’s place cause we went to the RMIT Open Day the next day. I saw heaps of people from down Sale and Bairnsdale way. Also heaps of asians. After uni we went around the city seeing the sites, the most exciting one being a fare evader that got beat down by the law. Got stuck sitting next to an asian lady on the bus to Dandenong before avoiding getting stabbed for a while before taking the train back to Bairnsdale.

Well that was my awesome long weekend, hope you got a kick out of it. And remember, tell your friends, especialy your hot, sexy, female friends.

[Insert extremely raunchy title here]

Before I start to enlighten you with my vacant ramblings I owe some people some mentions:

Hello Alice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think she’s my biggest reader at the moment and she should encourage other people to become regular readers.

I also have to give a big high five to Tom (not the myspace one) for the encouaging feedback he has given me, unlike some other readers that just read and move on. A fatwa (some type of bad Islam thing) on readers that do this!

Now I can give all of you what you came here for; naked pictures of me! No unfortunately this website prohibits me from including any pictures that are deemed to be ‘inapropriate’. Sorry ladies (and to the select group of male readers, i’m flattered but not into that type of thing). Maybe I should set up a website in which to exhibit these ‘artworks’. Anyway, this week has rocked the very essense of who I am. Na not really, it’s been pretty boring the last couple of days with very little happening. The only significant thing being that I scored a day off from school because my sports uniform was wet and I managed to convince the Big Cheese (mum) that Grammar is not unlike the Gestapo when it comes to correct uniform policy. It also had the added bonus of people classing me as extra smart because it was on the day of the UMAT. There’s only a four days of school this week as well dues to another ‘development day’. The only development the teachers are doing on these days involves a slab or two and a couple dozen goon bags.

I’ll try and deliver another edition sometime this week. I will be sure to include many tales of wonder, intrigue and sexual encounters.

Gotta go, Dexter’s on